Just Don't Think
by kathiann
Summary: Inspired by one of the scenes in 'Never the Bride' but not the one you think. This is a what could have happened, potential multi chapter. I can honestly say that I've ever seen anything quite like this. UPDATED! Chapter 5 now up.
1. Just Don't Think

**Authors Note: **Right, so I had this idea, and I know it's stupid, but I thought, why not write this, and if its crap, I'll either get no reviews, or people will tell me it's crap, so, Spoilers for 'Never the Bride' and 'Duplicate Bridges', because that's what inspired it. Really, "Never the Bride', but 'Duplicate Bridges' just solidified the idea for me. It's messed up, I know.

**Disclaimer: **I'm pretty sure that once you get past the first couple of paragraphs it will become painfully obvious that I don't own this show, the characters, or pretty much of anything really.

"Who wants to do my back?" Brandi called as I watched Mary drive off in her barely working car. No way I was passing up that opportunity. I knew she wanted the pool boy, but if I couldn't have the real thing, at least I could have to sister, right?

I got there just before the pool boy did, giving him my best cop glare to get him to back off. "You know, I was hoping that he would be the one doing my back Marshall, not you."

"I know," oh did I know. I just spent the past hour sitting on the patio with her and Mary trying not to stare as Brandi pretended to read that investment magazine. But I needed to make up an excuse to touch her other than to pretend that she was her sister so I thought quick, knowing that she wouldn't notice my lie as Mary would. "I figured that you might want some sound investment advice."

"Please, you just wanted an excuse to feel me up. I saw the way you were looking at me earlier."

"Ah, well." Damn, she caught me. That I was not expecting. But she was right. What could I say; I was a red blooded male. She was an attractive blond. A skinny attractive blond, she was so sure of her sexuality, it was intoxicating, almost as much as her sister. Mary, now there was a woman who knew what she wanted and took it. I'd seen the look she got in her eye when she wanted something or someone, one day, hopefully, she'd look at me like that, until then, Brandi would have to do.

"You're actually kind of good at this." Brandi's voice broke into my thoughts and I looked down at her back. I hadn't even noticed that I had begun to massage her back and shoulders as I rubbed the tanning lotion into her skin. She had a beautiful tan, and no tan line, she must tan topless frequently, not just when she was trying to hit on the pool boy.

"I took a class." I said when I had collected myself. I looked up at the pool boy, I'd never caught his name, as he put away the cleaning equipment and sulking left the back yard, leaving us alone with me massaging the back of my best friend's sister. A less perfect version of her. If I closed my eyes I could imagine that it was a mute version of Mary under my hands. No way would Mary let me massage her without mouthing off. Or, knowing myself as I do, my being able to keep my mouth shut. She just had that way about her that managed to make me spout off the useless facts in my head with our censoring. Usually I kept it to a minimum, or only shared what was relevant, but with Mary the old defense mechanism from my childhood crept back up.

I felt Brandi move beneath my hands and looked back down at her to see that she had managed to turn over while I was distracted and that my hands, that before had been on her back at about her shoulder blades were now resting gently on her breasts.

"Brandi, what are you doing?" I was afraid to move my hands, even to take them off; I didn't want to make any sudden movement, lest they be interpreted the wrong way.

"I've been in Albuquerque for over a month Marshall, that's a long time." She placed her hands over mine, keeping me from removing them. To be honest, sure I could have removed them if I had wanted, but I was still dealing with the whole, my hands were on her breasts thing.

"No, that's not too long. A year, that's a long time."

"A year? Really Marshall, it's been that long for you? Poor baby." No, well yes, but that's not what I meant.

"That's not what I meant. You're Mary's sister. You have a boyfriend in New Jersey." She pressed her hands down on mine harder, moving them around a bit causing my hands to move, not good. So not good. This had to stop. I could feel her nipples pressing into my palms and the man in me was responding. I had to stop this and quick, before I lost control.

"Chuck's in New Jersey. You're here." She moved one of her hands off of mine and down her stomach. I could tell she knew I was following her hand with my eyes. Not good, not good. Think of anything else, this can't happen, Mary would kill me. Ok, can't think of Mary, think of something NOT sexy, not remotely attractive, not Mary. Think of Mother Teresa, The Billups family, Raph and all his baseball playing buddies. But now she's rubbing her stomach with that same hand and it wasn't working. Maybe if I closed my eyes.

"I know you love my sister." Ok, that did it. I jumped up, effectively removing my hands and launching myself back about 10 feet without even trying. I knocked into the table that still had our drinks on it. If I wasn't careful I was going to stain my mambo pants.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Denial, that was always a good idea.

"Sure you do. I see the way you look at her. I bet you were wishing it was her laying out here don't you."

I had fallen into the chair that Mary had been sitting in just 20 minutes earlier before going off to chase Trina down. Brandi was walking towards me with a look that I recognized in her eyes. It was similar to the one that Mary often wore; one that said I know what I want and I'm going to get it. It wasn't quite as effective, but it still worked.

"Brandi, I don't know what you're thinking, but don't. This isn't going to make you miss Chuck any less."

"Right now I'm not thinking of Chuck. You're pretty cute, you know that Marshall?"

"Brandi…" She was advancing on me now, I should get up from the chair, but I couldn't. She was hypnotic. I'd always had a weakness for half naked women, and she was defiantly a half naked woman.

"Do this for me Marshall, just this one time, please, I won't even care when you think of Mary and not me."

"I-"

"Don't lie Marshall, you know you'll be thinking of Mary the whole time."

She had stopped moving at that point, now that she was standing in front of me. She slid over my lap, straddling my waist.

"Just don't think Marshall."

And then her lips were on mine. You can't say she didn't know what she was doing.

**Authors Note: **To be honest, this was suposed to be a little more...detailed, but then I realized that I couldn't really write _that_ from a male's perspective. Anyway, let me know what you think, and if I should do more, cause this totally isn't done.


	2. The Mambo

**Authors Note:** It's been suggested to me that Marshall might be a little OOC in this. SO take this as a fair warning as possible OOCness. And it's probably crap, but I promised an update a week, so here it is, it's still 11:44 pm local time, so I made it in under the buzzer

**Disclaimer: **Still not mine.

**Just Don't Think Chapter 2-The Mambo**

I sat in that patio chair watching Brandi saunter; because that was the best word for it, back into the house. Naked. Swinging her bikini from the tips of her fingers. I could not believe I had just had sex with Mary's sister, on the patio of her house. I was never going to be able to sit out here again. I was never going to be able to face Mary again.

Mary. Dear God, Mary. What was I going to tell her? I couldn't tell her. She'd kill me. She'd view it as entirely my fault; I _had_ been looking at her precious baby sister all morning. Why, oh why did I have to be a guy? This would all be so much easier if I was gay or able to keep it in my pants.

I still had my boots on. Brandi had made it abundantly clear that she barely needed my participation in the 'event', in addition to still wearing my boots; I was also still wearing my shirt and coat. I remembered when Brandi had undone the buttons to my shirt, delighted that I hadn't worn an undershirt under my blue shirt today. She'd taken full advantage of that to comment on the amount of time I must spend at the gym every day. And the things she could do with her mouth and hands just on that stretch of skin…it was amazing.

While I'd given into temptation to willingly touch her breasts-_soft yet firm, and smaller than they should be, no, just right for _her_, for Brandi, it wasn't Mary_-she had been touching and tasting my chest. I could still feel her lips on my chest, her tongue on my nipples. So I'm a guy, but it still felt so good. Most women ignore guys chests when they're in the throes of passion, but not Brandi, she had known what she was doing.

I stood on shaky legs, I needed to put myself to rights and get out of here. I straightened my trousers and did up the zipper-_her hands on me, stocking, touching, mumbling in my ear-_I hadn't even managed to get my get my pants down past my ass. How did I let this happen?

Right, Mary. I had been thinking of Mary as Brandi had straddled my waist, as she had slid onto me, as she had cried out my name. I don't remember calling a name; I do remember moaning, lots of moaning. Oh it had felt so good. I guess I wasn't thinking. I had to get out of here.

I went and sat in my car, hoping beyond all hope that the incident with Mary's witness wouldn't turn into something that I would need to go into the office for. I didn't know if I could face Mary today, not after what I had just done with her sister. I just needed to get home and shower and change, and not ever think of her smooth soft back again. Or the feel of her on me, kissing her soft sweet lips, touching her in places I should never have touched her.

I jumped when my phone rang. "Marshall here."

"Marshall, its Stan. I need you to come in. You know Mary's witness Treena? Well, seems like Mary's threatened to get her kicked out of the program and Trina went and called Bob Carlton."

"No." I knew he was going to ask me to come in. No way could Stan handle angry Mary by himself, no way could I deal with Mary right now.

"Look, I'm going to need you to come in. You know how Mary can get."

"Come on Stan, it's my day off." Despite my protests I was already starting my car and driving towards the Sunshine Building.

"Usually you don't mind, come on, you can have an extra day off when this whole mess blows over."

Yeah right, that wasn't going to happen. I sighed, "On my way Stan."

I got there before Mary did; I had to figure out something to distract myself before she showed up. I was missing my mambo class today. I was supposed to have been there right after I dropped Mary off at the spa. Guess that wasn't going to happen either. She gets grumpy when she didn't get to relax, I hate my life sometimes.

I slid a CD of mambo music that I bough before deciding to take the class into the CD player on Mary's desk. If I was going to miss my class to make Mary happy I might as well get to practice. When I saw her come out of the elevator I immediately lost track of what I was doing, my steps were off, I wasn't doing nearly as well as I had been just 30 seconds before. I needed to think of something other than her sister and what she would feel like in my arms, dancing. Oh, and even better thought, Mary in my arms…NO, that wasn't any better.

History of mambo. Trivia always works. I was an awkward teenager, while most boys were working up the courage to ask a girl out I was memorizing library books. This was why my first was the foreign exchange student. Gawky and uncomfortable in her body. I was the only person who would give her the time of day. That is, until the woman she was staying with decided she needed a makeover, then she was the most popular girl in school. Really she took pity on me. I'm so glad that Mary never got chance to call her, because I would hate to think of the stories she would tell.

I barely recognize that she's asking for Stan before I point at him. Mambo first danced in 1947 in Cuba by Perez Prado. Mary and Stan arguing about Treena and Bob, another stupid man who couldn't keep it in his pants. I wonder if Brandi could make the move to con artist, but no, she's a tease and a seductress, but not suave enough to pull off a con.

"Excellent, now tell me which one of you is Costello?" Mary gives me a look when I speak, why did I open my mouth, why did I say anything, she must know. The mambo is also the style of music, it came before the dance. I know I'm saying something about the mambo; that Stan is talking to Mary, that I should really be paying attention…

"What, what are you doing? Stop that, stop that right now."

Damn, Stan must have noticed something was wrong, but that's not like Stan. Just play it like normal, Stan's a lovable idiot, he's even more clueless than I am. I can handle this.

"Man, why you got to harsh my mellow?"

"You're a US marshal for God's Sake!"

"So?" I'm just dancing, trying to act like I wasn't just having sex with my best friends sister while think of her and how it would feel if she was the one straddling my waist, pulling my close touching and massaging…NO, I need to pay attention to Stan who has now grabbed my hands and is dancing with me, who know that Stan could dance?

Mary didn't hang around long after that. If I know her she's off to meet with her non-boyfriend, even though I know better, for some good bye sex. I sit in my chair long after she and Stan have left for the day, wishing that I could go back and change the way things happened that morning, whishing I could go back in time six months and smack Bob Carlton upside the head for the same mistake he made, the one that made it so I had to come to work instead of going to my dance class, instead of going to the gym for a ten mile run, instead of going home and spending the nights like I usually do, thinking of Mary while I'm watching the latest blockbuster knock off.

Not that it would be any better, I'd still have the image of Brandi in my head, teasing me, making me think of how it would be to go at it in a real bed. Now that I have some idea what a Shannon woman feels like I know that my sleep will be even harder coming, I know that I'll have an even harder time keeping it straight around Mary, I just hope that the memory fades, and that Brandi ahs even just one shred of self preservation in her body and will never tell Mary.

**Authors Note: **No, I don't know endless facts like Marshall, that's why they invented this thing called the internet, just take out the spaces http:// www. centralhome. com/ ballroomcountry/ mambo. Htm and http:// en. wikipedia. org/ wiki/ Mambo_ (dance)


	3. Unexpected Visitor

**Authors Note: **Even though I didn't get any reviews on the last chapter of this I don't care, it still won't leave me alone, so, until it's done and out of my system I've got to just keep plugging along on it. A special thanks to lgmtreader who betaed this for me the first time, and also to Grammar Maven who got me thinking and inspired this change of chapter. Hopefully Marshall is less OOC in it now. If you read this before, it's the same until about half way through, so just bare with it, please?

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, never mine, I don't even think I could get their parents to let them come over and play at my house at this point I've messed with them so much.

**SPOILERS FOR "NEVER THE BRIDE"**

Cold shower. The best two words in the world right now. Even after the fire fight and the joking I was still running hot. God, Mary was going to kill me. First showing up in that dress and then 'smearing lipstick.' Good God, I think I'm going to die, and it won't be a happy death either. It's going to be long and painful and frustrated.

Normally seeing Mary in that dress—if you could call that barely there, tight as hell, ball of sequins she had worn a dress—wouldn't have been a problem, but with the memory of Brandi fresh in my mind it was just that much worse.

I kept seeing Brandi's body when I closed my eyes; I hadn't been sleeping these past few nights. Every time I dozed off I would dream of Mary coming back, catching me and Brandi having sex…it was killing me. And now, with the images of Mary in that dress…the shower's not cold enough. I could feel her hands on me, her lips on mine, Brandi's touch was being mixed with my fantasies of Mary and I was going slowly insane.

I looked down at the lower half of my body; cold shower NOT working. Time for plan 'B'. I turned the water to a more normal temperature for a shower; if I was going to have a raging hard on I might as well take advantage of it. It's not like Mary could walk in on me and hear me calling her name as I jacked off.

I was starting a decent rhythm when the doorbell rang. Just ignore it, just ignore it. Mary's body…Brandi's hands. It rang again, followed by a pounding and the sound of someone calling my name. I could barely hear them, it was a woman though. Only a few people it could be, Mary or Brandi, and I didn't think Brandi knew where I lived. The insufferable woman was still knocking.

"FUCK!" I pounded my fist up against the wall and turned the water off. Wrapping a towel loosely around my waist I started for the door. "I'm coming; I'm coming; keep your shirt on!" I threw the door open and stared in shock at the blond woman standing there.

"So not what I had planned."

"Brandi? What are you doing here? How did you get my address?" I was very aware that I was standing in the door way dripping wet in just a towel and a barely concealed erection.

"Mary had a fight with Chico and I just had to get out of the house. I just looked in her Blackberry for your address while she was in the shower."

I stared at her in shock. Sometimes I couldn't figure out how Mary could be sisters with her, at other times it seemed so obvious. This was one of those times. I knew Mary had done similar things with me, so it wasn't a big surprise that Brandi would do it; the thought of it almost made me smile.

"Are you going to ask me in, or are you just going to stand there?"

I stood aside so she could come in, wishing that I hadn't jumped to the conclusion of Mary being at the door and had actually put my robe on. "Make yourself at home." Bad idea, but I wasn't going to turn out Mary's sister and have her wrath be turned on me. "I'm just going to finish my shower."

I watched from the hall as Brandi flopped onto my sofa and turned on the TV; hopefully she'd be able to find something to hold her interest so I could shower in peace. The cold air from the rest of the house, coupled with the surprise of Brandi being at the door and not Mary had reduced my excitement some and I hoped that I could just wash my hair and not have to worry about it.

"I'll wash your back if you wash mine." I froze. I didn't want to turn around. She was still in the living room; that much I could tell. This was not a conversation I could have with her in just a towel. What we had done before, that was a mistake. A mistake that had been haunting me every minute of every day since it happened. Skipping the bathroom I went straight to by bedroom and threw on an old pair of sweat pants and a plain white t-shirt. We needed to talk and we needed to do it now.

Brandi was standing in the door way. "You didn't finish your shower."

"Brandi, we need to talk." She started walking towards me, but I put up both my hands to stop her.

"Not in here, let's go back to the living room." I stepped around her; I didn't trust myself not to do something stupid if she come too close to me.

"All I asked is if you wanted me to wash your back, Marshall. There's nothing wrong with that." Brandi was trailing behind me and I stopped in front of the sofa.

"Nothing wrong with that? Brandi…" I stopped. I didn't want to tell her that I'd just been thinking about her in the shower because it wasn't her, was it? It was Mary. Mary's face that I had seen as I had touched myself, Mary's voice in my head, edging me on. Brandi's hands instead of mine. "If you had come into the shower with me I don't think I could have stopped myself from screwing you up against the shower wall."

"That's a bad thing? There's nothing wrong with sex, Marshall, its just sex." She sat on the sofa, facing me, legs wide apart in her skirt; God, she was trying to kill me, this was worse than Mary's dress. With Mary it was just a fantasy, Brandi…I knew what it was like with Brandi, I had reference points. I wondered for a brief second what it would be like to be the one in charge with her, not the one being used. But no, I could never do that. Never again, she was Mary's sister.

"It's not just sex, Brandi. I feel like I'm in a bad after school special. You're my best friend's sister."

"Yeah, and you're in love with your best friend." She propped one foot up on my coffee table almost in defiance. Could that skirt she was wearing ride up anymore? I swear I could see the thong she was wearing; white with pink polka dots.

"I am not." I sat in my Lay-Z-Boy recliner; a birthday present to myself last year. "And that's not important. Brandi, what we did, the sex, we can't do that again."

"I don't hear you calling it a mistake." Was that hope in her voice, hope that I would change my mind? No, I couldn't I wouldn't.

"No, not a mistake, but, we can't do it again. You're dating someone, living with him, I'm…ok, fine, I'm in love with your sister. It just not a good idea."

She looked down at the ground, I recognized that pose. I'd had sisters, little sisters; I knew what she was doing. She was going to cry; I can't handle a crying woman. Sure I can act like I can, and it's easy when you're not attached to them, but when it's someone you know, when it's a woman that I've had sex with and is crying because of that…I didn't care who was responsible for it the first time, the second I made Brandi feel bad about it, I was at fault.

"Brandi, don't do that." I wanted to comfort her, touch her, hug her, but I didn't trust her, didn't trust myself. I knew what would happen if I did, and I was having a harder and harder time remembering why that was bad.

"I'm not crying, Marshall." She said looking back up at me. Her eyes were clear, no hint of tears and there was a small smile playing on her face. "Mary always did get the good guys. You know she probably doesn't even realize that you love her? I bet she tells you all about the sex she has with other men, and doesn't even realize that it's tearing you up inside."

"No, actually, Mary doesn't tell me about her sex life, though, she does mock mine." I shook my head. When she found out about this I was probably going to become very familiar with the business end of her gun. "Mary's going to kill me."

"No she's not." Brandi said, placing both feet on the ground.

"I've got younger sisters. When I was in high school one of my best friends started dating my sister; behind my back. Do you know how long it took me to forgive him when I found out?"

"But you forgave him?"

"Yeah, but I'm not Mary. Mary follows the shoot first ask questions later doctrine. I'm likely to have my balls cut off and served to me Rocky Mountain oyster style than given the chance to sit down and explain what happened."

"What?" Brandi looked at me in confusion. What part of my explanation hadn't she understood? Ah, right.

"Rocky mountain oysters, bull testicles served breaded and deep fried."

"That's gross, people actually do that?" Brandi for her part actually looked disgusted at the thought.

"Yeah, there are festivals all over the west, and the self-proclaimed largest of them is held every year in Eagle, Idaho."

"How do you know all that stuff?" Brandi actually looked amazed, it had been a very long time since anyone marveled at my fountain of useless facts and knowledge.

"Many years of practice, and an incurable desire to know everything. It gets annoying, knowing so many things and not having a receptive audience."

"I bet Mary hates it."

"Yeah, she does." We lapsed into silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

"At least you're not stupid like I am." Brandi didn't look at me when she spoke; clearly this was something she was ashamed off.

"You're not stupid, Brandi, you just don't have the same knowledge base as, say, Mary or I do. We've both been to college. Have you ever thought about going to school?"

"No, not really. And besides, I'm not going to be in Albuquerque long enough to do anything about it. Soon I'll be back in Jersey and life will be back to normal."

"Mary's going to miss you when you leave. I know she doesn't act like it, but she will."

"I know; she's my sister after all." We lapsed into a silence again. I was about to get up and actually finish my shower when Brandi spoke again. "Why haven't you made a move on Mary?"

"What?" I had to get out of this conversation, no way was I going to be having it with Brandi, we'd talked about our problem, I wasn't going to talk about mine now.

"You love her, I could even tell that, why haven't you said anything?"

"She's my partner. I'd rather never have her love than to lose her as a friend and partner."

"So you'd rather love her from afar and always be left wanting than risk losing her forever?"

"Yeah." I couldn't decide if that made me a hopeless romantic or a pathetic loser.

"You know, we both have the same problem." Brandi was suddenly standing in front of me, when did that happen?

"What?"

"We're both so afraid of disappointing or upsetting Mary that we're afraid to do anything that might make us happy."

"What are you talking about? I am happy." I am happy, really, I am.

"Yeah, right. That's why when you answered the door in just your towel you were disappointed to see me on the other side and not Mary. I bet you were in the shower just now jacking off to thoughts of her in that dress she was wearing tonight. I know you guys go everywhere together, why should a bachelorette party be any different?"

I groaned. I don't care what Brandi said before about being stupid, she knew entirely too much about men, or rather me. How the hell did that happen? "Please, Brandi. I don't need to be reminded. I've got enough issues as it is without the thought of you knowing what I do in the shower."

"So you were thinking about her. I knew that dress was the right choice." Was that a touch of disappointment in her voice? Was she upset that I had been thinking about Mary? There's no way. She wouldn't want me thinking about her would she? She's the one who said she was ok with my thinking about another woman while we were screwing each other on her sisters' patio in broad daylight, but in the privacy of my own bathroom she wants me to think about her? No way.

"I do generally think about her, I'm a guy, that's what we do. Think of our fancy when getting off. It's been harder lately though." Did I just say that? Sometimes my brain doesn't connect with my mouth.

"What? Why?" I couldn't escape the hopeful look on her face; this wasn't going the way I had planned at all, if I had indeed planed any of this.

"Well…" I knew there was a way I could dodge the question, but I couldn't think of it on the spot like that, besides, what was the harm? "Since that day that we—well, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. The way your hands felt on me, the way you touched me, what it would feel like to have you underneath me, touching you. It's been driving me crazy."

"I…I didn't know. I wouldn't have come over if I had known." She wasn't looking at me. "I never meant to do that Marshall; I just wanted to have a little fun to distract myself from my horrible life. God I'm so stupid!"

"No, no you're not. Most guys, most guys would have jumped at the chance to have no strings attached sex with you, Brandi, but I'm not really that kind of guy."

"Yeah, I know, that's why I like you. I just, I don't know how to go about it any other way."

I almost felt sorry for her then. She'd spent her whole life around men who valued her only for her body and what she could do with it. What she really needed was a friend who wasn't going to be asking for sex anything they might do for her. "I know it's late, but how'd you like some dinner?"

"What about the sex?"

"I don't need sex from you Brandi, just; let's try to be friends ok?"

"You might not need it, Marshall, but you know you want it."

I wasn't a Witsec Inspector for nothing; I knew how to NOT answer questions. "I can make a mean plate of spaghetti, or, we can do tacos, I think I've got everything for them."

"It's after midnight; don't you have any snack food?"

No, I don't. "Um, let me check." What would Brandi consider snack food? Chips of some sort probably, same as Mary. I looked through my cupboards. A half empty bag of pretzels and a jar of peanut butter was all that I had that didn't need cooked, but I did have a couple of bags of microwave popcorn left over from the last movie night I'd had. That would have to do.

"Popcorn and pretzels with peanut butter." I said once I had popped the popcorn.

"I love pretzels with peanut butter. How'd you know?"

"Mary likes it too. Only reason I've got it." I sat on the sofa next to her. Placing both bags of food and the jar on the table. "Want to watch a movie?"

"Sure." I put in a movie that I thought even Brandi would appreciate—_Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy_—not your normal sci-fi movie, and sat back on the sofa next to Brandi.

If I sat a little closer than I should have, if I brushed her hand more than I should have when we both reached for the popcorn at the same time, I pretended not to notice. I just watched the movie and tried not to think of the woman sitting next to me, laughing and smiling; I was just here to be a friend. That was it, and nothing more, or at least, that's what I kept telling myself.

**Authors Note 2: **Info on Rocky Mountain oysters found here: http:// en. wikipedia. org/ wiki/ Rocky_Mountain_oysters and here: http:// whatscookingamerica. net/ History/ RockyMtnOyster. Htm just take out the spaces.


	4. Dream a Little Dream

**Authors Note: **SO it seems that attempts to abandon this little tale aren't working for me :) It just keeps scratching at the back on my mind. Thanks to those of you who read and reviewed in the past, and to lgmtreader and sfchemist for the wonderful beta jobs. Couldn't have done this with out them.

**Disclaimer: **So NOT mine.

**Spoiler: **Lets assume if it's in the show it's fair game, but explicit spoilers for "Trojan Horst"

**Just Don't Think 4: Dream a Little Dream**

Pain, and lots of it. That's all I can think of... I don't know how Mary got us out of that damn gas station, but I know I'm in a car. Snippets of the past few months come back to me, influenced no doubt by the conversation just hours before with Mary about my job.

"_I'm thinking of getting a new job." _

_I was sitting on the sofa in my house with Brandi; she'd been coming over occasionally since the night after the__bachelorette party from hell and we'd been talking. As much as I knew that I shouldn't, I was starting to feel closer to Brandi, and I was having a hard time remembering why that was a bad thing._

"_What? Why? Does Mary know?" Brandi had been leaning up against me but now she was sitting up, staring at me._

"_No, Mary doesn't know. I had an interview with Peterson Security today; Mary thought I was at the dentist."_

"_Where's that at? Would you be leaving town?" She had leaned back a bit but still didn't relax._

"_It's here in Albuquerque. A private security firm. I'd be running a team who does security for low-level celebrities and political figures. It pays better than being a marshal, and there's the upside that no one would tease me about my name."_

"_But you love your job." I pulled her back towards me, rubbing her shoulders; she loved it when I did that. I'd do it for Mary if I thought I'd come out of it with my hands still attached to my body._

"_I do, but… I'm sick of hiding. Sick of having to act like a caged animal. Always under scrutiny and observation, unable to act like I want for fear that I'll be put down."_

"_What, so Mary's like your zookeeper?"_

_I had thought about that for a minute and realized that it was usually the other way around, that I was Mary's zookeeper; when had that become my job? "I don't know. I'm just tired."_

"_I know what you mean. Sometimes living up to Mary's expectations can really get you down."_

_I sighed against her back then took a deep breath in. She smelled like watermelon. Probably her shampoo. I wondered idly what type of shampoo a grown woman could buy that smelled like watermelons, but before I could ask she pulled away, out of my arms._

"_I'd better go, Marshall. I really had fun tonight with you watching the movie, but if I don't get home my mom will ask me what I'm doing and that's not a fun question to answer when she's been drinking, and she's always drinking." I almost chuckled at that, such a long sentence had left her breathless; she was cute when she was breathless. _

_NO! Can't be thinking like that. At least, not while I'm still working with her sister. That would never end well. A new job was starting to look even better. _

Then she had left and a few days later I'd gotten that letter from Peterson, and Mary saw it, and then… my brain went foggy for a minute. When I refocused I was moving again. The pain isn't as bad, but there's this pressure in my chest that is almost worse than the pain from before, I think I'd rather the pain.

I remembered what I had told Mary, I'm assuming just a few hours ago, though, I think I may have passed out at some point. I'm still not sure why she felt the need to have that conversation then. Of course, she probably thought we were going to die.

"_So how come you didn't tell me?"_

"_Because, I needed to make up my own mind. And that's not always an option with you. You know how you are."_

And look how that turned out. I'm still here and I'm pretty sure I agreed never to quit. It's my job to protect the world from her. My freaking job. She actually said that.

"_That's your job."_

How do I tell her that I want to leave because I think I'm falling for her sister? There's no way to say that. If the bullet wound in my chest doesn't kill me, she will. Or Horst. I think there's something screwy with him, but I can't remember. Mary had said something about a GPS transmitter… But I can't remember. Why can't I remember the details of the case, but I can remember that conversation, or most of it. The important parts anyway, I think.

"_Jesus, Marshall. You're like my _only_ friend."_

"_I know. And you're like, _my_ only friend."_

How horrible is it that, as long as I've been in New Mexico and as long as I've been in Albuquerque, _Mary_ is my only friend? Sure, I've got acquaintances and such, but my only real friend, the person I spend time with, the person I call when I've got good news or bad news, is Mary.

Brandi doesn't count, right? We're more like casual acquaintances that just happen to spend time together. We're not really friends, so I didn't lie to Mary, right? I'm such an idiot. I don't even buy that line of bull. In fact, lately, I've had to restrain myself from calling Brandi with good news. Just the other day I'd gotten a new, I don't even remember, something for my computer no doubt, and I had actually dialed Brandi's number before I caught myself.

Still, she had been impressed, even if she had no idea what I was talking about when I told her while Mary had just laughed. And then threatened me if I didn't shut up.

"_I feel like I'm the keeper of this exotic animal. And I spend my time either protecting you from the world, or the world from you. And it's just… It's just a lot of responsibility."_

"_I'm sorry. But that's your job. And you cannot quit."_

And then she kissed me. Right between telling me that it was my job to be her keeper and that I couldn't quit; she kissed me. And the idiot that I am, in love with my partner, I said 'okay' and promised not to quit. I'm an idiot.

Not so much pain now and the breathing is easier. I think I'm in a hospital; the smells give it away. And the sounds, or lack thereof. It had been quiet in that gas station, but it was an oppressive silence, one of people afraid to move for fear of being discovered; here, it's a calm silence. I wonder if I've been through surgery to repair the hole in my lung. Probably, if I can breathe now.

I wonder if I should try to open my eyes. I'm awake, but it seems too much effort. Getting shot sucks. Obviously not at the top of my game yet if [']sucks['] is the only word I can think of.

"Marshall." Mary's here. Why is Mary here? She should be with Horst. "Can you hear me?"

Sure I can hear her, I'm not deaf… Oh, wait, my eyes are still closed. Guess I never did get around to opening them now, did I?

"God, you're so pale, even more than you usually are; you need sun." Yup, that's my Mary. Lovable, cheerful Mary. "Why [the hell] did you have to go and get shot?"

Like I had a choice in the matter? I don't think I'm going to open my eyes right now. I don't know if I could handle her. Any other day and there wouldn't be a problem, but today… no, not now.

"Horst is Lola. That scumbag that shot you was trying to bust him loose. Yeah. Not cool. That's ok; I had the pleasure of arresting her. And telling Horst his fly was down."

I could hear her dry chuckle. Her voice was off; I think she's been crying. I should really open my eyes now, but I'm too tired. I wonder idly if Mary's going to spend all night sitting next to me on a hard hospital chair, but no, that's not her style.

"The doctors say you need your rest, though, that's all you're doing, so I'm going home for the night. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, OK?"

And then she's gone, as sudden as she came. She didn't even touch me.

"_You know Marshall; I think I'm beginging to like the dessert."_

"_Really?" We're sitting on my sofa, Brandi and I, watching something on TV, though I'm not really paying attention. It's foggy, I wonder if I'm dreaming._

"_Yeah, there's the no snow in winter factor, and then there's the other thing that makes me want to stay."_

"_What other thing?"_

"_You." Then her lips were on mine._

"Marshall, are you awake? God, Marshall. I don't know what I'm going to do if you don't make it out of here." Brandi's voice breaks me from my dream before it can get interesting. When did I fall asleep? After Mary left I'm sure. I can smell watermelons and know that it's her hair, why can I smell her hair? And then I feel it on my face as she leans over me, kissing my lips, soft and gentle, as if she's afraid that I'll break.

I hear her settle into the plastic chair by the bed and so I struggle to open my eyes. I have to see her, more even than I had to see Mary. Finally with effort I open them, and see she's been crying. My voice is horse as I try to speak, "Don't cry."

"Marshall?" He voice cracks, and she's crying, despite my asking her not to. "Thank God. I thought you were going to die. How did you get shot? I thought you and Mary worked at the court house, but then Mary said you were out in the desert with no cell service…"

"Marshals do prisoner transport too. That's what we were doing." I could tell her that without conveying too much information. She could find out that much just by Googling the Service.

"I thought you guys just walked around the court hose all day drinking coffee and delivering papers. I didn't realize it was so dangerous." She reaches up and grabs my hand, holding onto my fingers with both of her hands, warming them.

"It's not usually dangerous. We don't usually get shot at. It's ok though, I'll be ok."

"How can you be sure?" She's crying again, and I hate that, ever since that second night…

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" I try to smile, but I'm still so tired, the effort is almost too much. "I'm going to go to sleep now, ok?" I tell her because I don't want her to worry and think I've slipped into a comma or something. She nods her head and I let my eyes drift closed. The last image in my mind before I fall asleep is one of her sitting there, trying not to cry while holding on to my hand for dear life.


	5. Hello Nurse!

**Authors Note: **I feel as if I've been absent for ages, but here I am. I've got more in the works, htis story is just...it has to want to be writen for me to write it. Don't know how to explain it any other way. Thanks to sfchemest for the absolutely awesome beta job.

**Disclaimer:** Goes without saying, not mine.

**Spoilers: **Who Shot Jay Arnesten

**Just Don't Think 5: Hello Nurse!  
**

I'm getting out of the hospital today, after only being in here for three days. I knew I was lucky, it could have been a lot worse, if we'd been in that abandoned gas station an hour longer…but I don't like to think about that.

I try not to think about that day at all, even though it's only been a few days, and I know she's got to cover my witnesses too, Mary's only been to see me once. I try not to think about that conversation, the one where I pretty much told her that I would do anything for her and never leave her. Apparently that doesn't go both ways.

"Good morning, Mr. Mann!" I suppressed a groan at the doctors' fake cheer. At least he was trying to have a decent bedside manner, but it wasn't really working. "How are we feeling?"

"We're doing great." I managed to past a smile on my face and sound cheerful, but anyone who knew me would be able to tell it was faked.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" He was checking my chart, making sure that the nurse who had been in just 15 minutes before hadn't missed anything.

"That I am." I just wanted to get home to my books and my computer and forget this whole mess.

"Well, let's take a look at your wound then." He peeled back the dressing on my shoulder and poked at it. I tried not to wince, but it did hurt. "Looking good. Do you have someone at home to take care of you?"

"Sure do!" I lied. I didn't have anyone at home to look after me. I lived alone, the woman that I was in love with didn't appear to want anything to do with me, and my family lived half way across the country.

"Well, that's good. I assume they're going to be picking you up? That way we can go over all the paperwork on wound care and what you can and can't do with that arm of yours for the next few weeks."

"Well, actually," I stalled, I had planned on taking a cab home, I'd tried calling Mary, but she just went on about how much more work there was to do with me in the hospital, "I was just going to take a cab, my friend who's going to be helping out is—"

"Marshall, I'm so sorry I'm late!" I stopped in mid sentence as the last person I'd expected to see walked through the door.

"Brandi?" She'd been to see me every day, we'd been talking, it had been nice to have someone who seemed to care about me. I recalled telling her about being discharged today, but I really hadn't expected her to come.

"I know, I know, I bet you thought Mary was going to come, but when I talked to her this morning she said she was going to be at work all day, and I knew you wouldn't be able to drive, let alone do much of anything else, especially if they give you pain meds…" She trailed off when she realized that the doctor was staring at her.

"Oh, Doctor, this is Brandi, a good friend of mine, she's going to be giving me a ride home."

"Ah," he stuck his hand out for her to shake and Brandi took it with trepidation. "Nice to meet you, I'm glad you were able to come, we need to go over Mr. Mann's wound care and discharge instructions."

To my surprise, Brandi actually looked like she was paying attention to the doctor as he explained how to change my dressing, what I could and couldn't do, and when I needed to come back to get my stitches out. Before I knew it I was being loaded up into Jinx's car and driven home.

"Thanks for coming today, Brandi," I said after we'd gotten into my house and I'd settled on the sofa.

"No problem, you're my friend; I know you'd do the same thing for me." She was standing off to the side of the room, like she was hesitating to come all the way into the house.

"Why don't you come sit down, stay a while, I could use the company." She smiled then, and I realized that's why she was still standing there, she'd been waiting for me to ask her to stay. "You know you're always welcome here, right?"

"I know; I just wasn't sure…" She sat awkwardly on the recliner next to the sofa and I smiled slightly, patting the cushion next to me. She smiled widely at me as she came and sat beside me. I reached out and grabbed her hand resting my head against the back of the sofa. I was so tired. I hadn't even done anything and I was already exhausted.

"You look tired." She whispered, tracing patterns on the back of my hand.

"I am." I had my eyes closed and don't open them to look at her, but I pulled on her arm slightly to encourage her to get a little closer to me. I've missed this, the closeness we'd shared the last few weeks.

"Do you need anything?" She snuggled up against the side that hadn't been recently torn apart by a bullet, but I could tell that she was still nervous about hurting me.

"Just this." I lifted her hand up and kiss it, before letting go and wrapping my arm around her shoulders, holding her as I drifted to sleep.

I awoke feeling stiff, the pain in my chest and shoulder a mild ache when I'd gotten home, was now a full fledged pain, throbbing and hurting in a way that I didn't know it could. I needed my pain pills, but remembered too late that we hadn't stopped on the way to fill the prescriptions that the doctor had given me.

I looked around slightly without getting up, wondering if Brandi had left, and realized, by the silence, that she had. I sighed. After everything we'd been through this week, I thought we'd gotten even closer; she'd been at my bedside everyday…

I heard the door open and twisted as much as I could without a shooting pain ripping through me to see Brandi coming in; trying to be quiet as she balanced bags of what I was assuming was food, and a tray of drinks.

"Oh, Marshall, you're awake. I was hoping to make it back before you got up." She sat the bags and drinks down on the coffee table in front of me before sitting down next to me and pulling my wallet out of her purse. "I had to borrow this. I realized we didn't stop to get your meds, I knew you'd be walking up hurting, and I just couldn't bear that."

"Thanks, Brandi." I leaned over and brushed a soft kiss across her check. She moved her head slightly and our lips met. I hadn't meant to kiss her, I'm sure she didn't mean it either, but it happened. It was tentative at first, but then more urgent...then I twisted to get better access and a shooting pain went through my arm. "Damn it!"

"Oh, Marshall, I'm sorry!" I could tell that she thought she had hurt me, but that wasn't it.

"No, no, it's ok, I just…I just need my pills." She nodded and reached into one of the bags, pulling out a couple of pill bottles.

"Ok, so the doctor said, you need to take one of these three times a day for infection, and one of these every four hours as needed for pain. And don't worry, I won't take any."

"I didn't think that you would," I said, knowing inside that it was something that she was likely to do, but also hoping that she wouldn't do it to me.

We ate in silence after I'd taken my pills, then just sat there afterwards. "Thanks for helping me today, these past few days really. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Not rely on Mary, that's for sure. Did she even come to visit you in the hospital?"

"She's been busy," I said, defending her an automatic reflex, even when it wasn't needed.

"I know, believe me, I know. You know, Marshall, if you ever needed anything, I'd be there right, like I am right now?"

"I know." I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to my good side, holding her close, breathing deeply the smell of her watermelon shampoo. "You know I'd do the same right? I'd be there if you ever needed me?"

"I'd really like to believe that Marshall," she said, nestling into my side. I wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but I could feel the effects of the pain killers kicking in and drifted off to sleep with the thought in my mind.

* * *

Two doctor visits and three weeks of mandated leave and I'm heading back out into the field tonight. Brandi has been coming over every day to help me, driving me around when I couldn't and just spending time with me. It's been nice. I've found that I look forward to her showing up every morning with donuts and coffee, even if I'm the one paying for them. Her presence is the one light in my otherwise dark days.

Mary calls about three times a week, sometimes more, to complain about the extra work load. She called today to tell me about the gallery opening of one of her witnesses, telling me she expects to see me there. The last time she'd seen me was about a week after I'd gotten out of the hospital. She'd come over to see how I was doing, and finding me still with my arm strapped to my chest and with and a full bottle of pain meds decided I didn't need her help and left. Brandi was hiding in the bedroom the whole time.

I was trying to figure out how to tie my tie one handed when there was a knock at the door and then the sound of it opening.

"Hey, Marshall! Where you at?" Brandi. I smiled at the thought.

"In the bedroom!" I called back to her knowing that she would come back to see me.

"You decent?" She asked, standing in the hall just outside of the view of the door.

"Am I ever?" The playful back and forth was getting easier, it was nice, comforting, and something I missed about not having a girlfriend. Not that I thought about Brandi that way.

"Isn't that my line?" She asked, coming into the room. "What are you doing?"

I had the tie around my neck, looped over itself and half of it thrown over my shoulder. "I'm attempting to tie this tie one handed."

"Why?"

"Well, because I'm supposed to go to this thing for work tonight and it's formal, so I've got to wear a tie."

"No, silly." She came up to me and placed her hands over mine that had been trying to flip the end of the tie down and through the loop. "Why are you trying to do it one handed when I can do it for you?"

"You know how to tie a tie?" I think my voice was a bit strangled, I'd like to think it was because she was tugging at the knot I'd managed to make in my tie, but really it was a reaction to the feel of her fingers on my neck. It was nice, too nice.

"Yeah, I've dated a guy who spent a lot of time in court; I picked it up from him." I watched as she deftly tied the tie around her own neck and then swallowed hard as she once again placed it over my head and tightened it. The feel of her hands on my skin…I had trouble breathing. She straightened my collar and ran her hands down my chest, I could feel myself reacting it the feel, remembering what it had been like that one time. I reached and placed my one free hand over one of hers, stopping the movement.

"Brandi…"

"I know Marshall; you're going to be late. Do you want a ride?"

"Um, no, I should be ok. Thanks for coming over." She smiled at me before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on my check.

"You're a great guy, Marshall." And then she was gone, almost as quickly as she'd come.

I just stood there in that spot looking, starting off into space, trying to remember why it was a bad thing that I was starting to feel something that was more than just lust, what I was starting to feel was more like love for the sister of my partner and best friend.


End file.
